But I Love Him: Logic Vs. Matters Of The Heart

“But I love him.” How many times have you heard this line or uttered these words yourself? I’ve known plenty of women who have proclaimed this statement as if loving someone was enough and everything would somehow be okay because of that. Ladies, know that just because you love a man doesn’t mean you have to look like a fool doing so. If a man is disrespecting you, isn’t giving you what you need, constantly cheating, verbally or physically abusive, you need to let go and move on. Whatever the case may be, if he isn’t treating you right, loving him doesn’t mean a thing. If anything, loving yourself should mean more. And getting out of the situation could be the difference between stress and happiness.

Don’t ever for a second focus all of your energy into making something work if you’re the only person putting forth effort. Relationships don’t work on their own. There needs to be two willing individuals making the proper strides toward moving forward. Pleading, begging, praying, hoping―it all doesn’t matter if it isn’t meant to be. A lot of times we like to think that we’re Super Woman and have the special ability to change a man, or make someone love us. We think, well maybe if I try harder or give him more time he will come around and see that I’m good for him OR, I am the one he needs, when in reality YOU need to realize that he’s not good for you.

When you meet the right one, you won’t be in a constant battle trying to make him see that you’re a good woman. It will flow naturally. Yes, it’s true that relationships take work, but when you’re always facing road blocks, then maybe that’s a sign that it’s not meant to be. Think about it, do you really want to continuously be at war with your significant other, trying to prove yourself? That’s too much headache. You can have all the love in the world, but if he doesn’t feel the same, then it won’t work.

Some women pray and ask for signs that will point them in the right direction, when all along there were red flags telling them to leave. They were just too blind in the relationship that they couldn’t see the obvious. If you’re asking for guidance in a situation but aren’t being open or receptive to actually noticing and facing the truth, then you won’t get or realize it. Falling/being in love is a beautiful thing when it’s true and pure. We all seek and hope to find real love, and sometimes get caught up in the idea so much so that we allow ourselves to be a fool for it. In love, you have to use both your head and your heart. Don’t allow yourself to be so wrapped up in the notion that you aren’t thinking logically and making all the wrong choices. At the end of the day, you have to make the best decisions for you, because nine times out of ten, he’s going to make the decision that will benefit him the most.

See everything for what it is. Evaluate it at face value. If you have a man that’s not invested in your relationship, realize that. Don’t focus too much on potential, because when you do, you risk being disappointed. We like to see the “potential” in a person, when in reality we should concentrate on the NOW. Well right now he’s not faithful, so why think that potentially he will be in the future? You can’t afford to place bets at the expense of your heart. Time is precious and each day that you waste with the wrong man can be better spent making room for the right one. Many different people can give you advice, but ultimately it’s up to you to take it. Yes, moving on and starting new can be scary and challenging, but once you finally arrive at that place of calm, you will see that you’ve made the right choice. Remember that each heartache and experience is another lesson learned. It’s meant to make you wiser, so allow yourself to grow from it. Think logically when it comes to matters of the heart.

By Chaunt’e Chaunt’e